NAME: Frank

ROLE: Krzysztof

NICKNAME: Frankincense, Grank, Sir William the Fancy Pants, Barbeque Pants, cunt, crazy fuckhead, etc.


IN CAST SINCE: 2005? 2006? I have trouble remembering where I was last weekend.

OCCUPATION: obstruse grad student

I AM INTO: stacking marbles and flailing about

FAVORITE MUSIC: I would cuddle right up to Davey Havok, though Jade's the real talent in that family.

I ROCK AT: coming at you from all sides

PET PEEVE: I have a very vocal, needy tuxedo cat named Skitzo. She acts like a shy girl and thinks we're married.

I HAVE A COLLECTION OF: discarded dreams and fancy hats

MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY IS ENTITLED: Kissing Hands, Shaking Babies, Kicking Politicians and Screaming at Passing Cars

THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER STOLEN WAS: your mom?

FAVORITE EUPHEMISM: your mom?

I WILL NEVER, EVER EAT: your mom?


At his peak, Frank was over 700 feet tall and weighed 2 and a half ounces. His superpowers include confusion, defying gravity, bombasticism, doing accents, freaking people out, and being able to wear anyone's clothing, though he never looked good in skirts. He used to be really gender-confused/angry but he's mainly over it now. Thanks, Hedwig.